


Beginnings

by Solovei



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Backstory, Family Feels, Finland (Country), Gen, Implied Parent Death, Kid Fic, Military, Minor Original Character(s), Pre-Canon, Tiny Tuuri is Adorable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 22:25:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3954073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solovei/pseuds/Solovei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He had to say it, to make it real for himself; had to keep saying it – <i>I am all they have now</i>"</p><p>Sixteen-year-old Onni is forced to flee his home in Saimaa with his young sister and cousin in tow. This is a story about starting over in unlikely places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks for [stclairvoyant](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stclairvoyant) and hushpiper for beta-reading and providing comments!
> 
> Header image by [antillanka](http://muerodelata.tumblr.com/)

  
  


[Keuruu, Finland, Year 79]

The train comes to a stop with a hiss and a metallic screech. Jutta watches it from the small room adjoining the gatehouse. A stark red light from the large lamp illuminating the arrival area shines through the tiny window. It’s far too dark now to get any work done; all she can do is sit and listen to the radio and wait for another train to come in. She knows it, her superiors know it, the old man she works with knows it too, which is why he’s fast asleep on the little table where the guards take their meals. When the trail pulls in, he wakes with a start and Jutta gives him a tiny nod as they take their places at the service window.

The passengers disembark in blobs of darkness amidst the deepening evening gloom. It would be easy to miss them, a sort of large rectangle of people travelling together as one: most are military, a few civilians, some academics and skalds. Even the train workers seem oblivious to the shuffling of coats and parcels and hushed voices. Still, Jutta notices when three more of them get off the train and join the shuffling crowd of other passengers, waiting their turn in line as each is processed. It’s her job to notice, after all.

She stamps documents while the old guardsman checks luggage, though not very thoroughly; it’s rare that someone brings in anything dangerous—she's worked at the gatehouse for 20 years and they have yet to have an incident. The last party draws nearer; though there are three of them, Jutta hears only two voices as they get closer, one high-pitched but attempting to be quiet, the other deeper, more tired. When she calls the next number, the group finally approaches, a light above the gatehouse illuminating their faces and features.

The first thing she sees is a young girl. “Hiiiii!” the child says, standing on tiptoes to reach the window and grinning widely. Her light hair is pulled into two messy pigtails that stick out from under a knitted hat.

“Tuuri, shhh. Sorry, uh, one second.” The young man with her digs around in his bag and produces three cloth-bound booklets bearing the Saimaa stamp on the front. His eyes look somewhat tired; he shares the young girl’s features, both round-faced and big-boned with light hair and high cheekbones _._ Looking closely, she notices another, smaller, child hiding behind them, clutching a toy rifle and staring off into the distance. This one looks to be nearly drowning in his clothes, a sapling ready to be snapped in half by a strong enough wind. Something catches in her throat at the sight of this group, the girl’s bright glimmering eyes and the young man’s attempts to quiet her. Jutta remembers the room in the infirmary, the white sheet, the strong smell of antiseptic. She realizes that she is staring and starts to busy herself with the documents, forcing the image to fade from her mind

 “Hotakainen? Travelling from Saimaa?” she asks to verify. It’s possible they have relatives here at the base, but she does not know anyone by that name.

 “Yes.”

“What is the purpose of your visit?”

“Uh, work… I’d like to enlist…”

“And they will be living with you?” She asks, pointing at the two children.

“Yeah?” His voice is defensive, as if he is hiding something.

Jutta looks at the papers again, compares the details, and tries to form a picture in her mind. There are birth certificates, health records, family information … two of the booklets have records from the quarantine facility near here. All share the same last name, but one does not have the same parents as the other two. Adopted? A cousin? Saimaa, wasn’t there something on the radio about Saimaa a couple of weeks ago? Part of her doesn’t want to think about it, even if she already knows the answer to her question. With a sigh, she stamps the entry documents and hands them back to the boy. “Go see Mr. Laitila at Keuruu Central Command in the morning. There should be temporary lodging available until they figure something out for you.”

Keuruu is _big._ He didn’t realize this last night, rushing the kids as fast as he could into one of the small houses kept for visitors. In the clear cold light of morning, he finally sees the scope of it, neat rows of military lodgings in a roughly circular layout sending up similarly uniform smoketrails from their chimneys. There was a wall running the perimeter of the base, and another separating the civilian area. Saimaa was more populous, but its people lived scattered across many lakes and islands; this was the first time Onni had seen this many people all in one place. Some wore military uniforms, others did not – it was difficult to tell who was who in their big winter coats, bundled up against the cold. He had clung tighter to the hands of his sister and cousin and warned them not to get lost.

Soon Onni finds himself sitting on the other side of a desk from a rather short man with a receding hairline. This, he assumes, is the person called Laitila. He can almost see himself reflected in the shiny dome of the man’s head as he shuffles papers or writes something on yet another form or checks a thick book full of neat rows and numbers. Onni is tired of papers; it feels like their entire life has been reduced to ink on parchment. He’s had to write his name so many times since everything happened that he barely recognizes it on a page, it’s just a circle and some squiggles.

“Onni, is it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Got family here in Keuruu?”

“No.”

“Says here you’ve done some mage training.”

“Yes, back in Saimaa.”

“Good, we could use more of those. Scouts always complaining they’re going out into the forests blind.”  
The tall teenager tenses for a moment; nobody had told him he would have to leave the base. Suddenly, Laitila looks up and waves a pen at the two children who sat on the chair beside Onni’s, the boy perched on the girl’s lap _._ Tuuri, usually a bundle of energy and questions, is quiet; he cannot tell if she is tired or apprehensive of being a strange place surrounded by adults.

“How old?” the man asks.

“Uh… Tuuri is 10, and Lalli, he is 8.”

Laitila returns to scribbling. “Too young,” he says, not looking up. “Minimum age to enlist is is 13.”  
Onni is about to open his mouth to deliver the impassioned speech he had been running over and over again in his mind the entire way here. He had prepared it for exactly this reason; it had a lot to do with how he was their only guardian and surely there was some kindness left in this man’s heart not to separate a family like this. He had to say it, to make it real for himself; had to keep saying it – _I am all they have now_ . But before he can, the man gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “Icelandic rules, not ours.”

There was, of course, the question of lodging. Keuruu was a military base first and foremost, ill-equipped to provide for children. The three sit on a wooden bench in the hallway for nearly half an hour while several military administrators debated where to house them. He experiences an odd sense of temporal displacement; after having to be the adult of the family for the past several weeks, for the first time, he feels like a child again, his fate left up to the decisions of others. The anxiety and fatigue tug at his thoughts painfully, as one pulls on stitches. Onni occupies his sister with pointing things out on a large map behind them, as Lalli lies slumped against his other side, dozing. He traces the route they had taken getting here with his gloved finger, starting on the island in Saimaa and going all the way to Keuruu where they were now.

“What’s over here?” Tuuri asks, poking at a more northern part of the map, a dark swath of ink with red dots here and there.

“Oh, um… let's see. It says … Pielinen, Kajaani… Juotenvesi… I guess they’re other settlements.”

“Woow…. can we go there too? Please Onni?”

He is quiet for a moment, watching her as she becomes absorbed in the map. He doesn’t know how much of what had happened she understood, or how to explain it to her, either.

“Um… maybe… we’ll see, okay?” He says with a tired sigh.


	2. New faces, new words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rule one: If it’s moving, don’t touch it. Rule two: If you touch it, put it back where you found it.”

They set out in the morning, after Onni had woken them up and brought them some food from the canteen - bread and cheese, an apple each. He said that he was expected to meet the mage he would be apprenticed to, a woman by the name of Raisa. Without being told, Tuuri held onto her cousin’s hand tightly as they walked between rows of small wooden houses, trying to keep up with Onni’s longer strides. “There’s lots of adults around, so don’t let go, ok?” She said with a serious voice to her cousin. Lalli nodded silently, clutching his rifle tightly when a tall man in a military uniform bent down to say hello to him.

 

The machine shop was pressed up against the wall encircling the military barracks as if trying to keep itself from falling over. Inside there were many things made out of metal and plastic - small things, big things, things with all sorts of interesting angles. Tuuri had never seen this many interesting things together in one place before. She stood a little off to the side, only vaguely aware of Lalli’s hand holding her own. What did all of these things do? They must all do something - they looked like they’ve been used many many times. When she looked closer, she noticed tiny scratches in the shiny surface, so many of them that they blurred together into one.

 

“So you see, um… I was wondering if you could watch them for a little while?”

“What do you think this is sonny, some kind of a daycare? I’ve got things to do.”

“Yes, I know, and I’m really sorry, but… I have a note here from, uh…”

“Central command, eh? Who knows what’s going through their heads up there…”

“I promise they’ll be really quiet and won’t bother you at all!”

 

Tuuri wasn’t listening to the conversation her brother was having with the old man in the stained apron; there were more important things, like all these interesting angles and knobs and small trinkets in boxes and buckets. She stood looking at a strange machine she’d never seen before, like a metal carriage, with big wheels like a train but smaller all around. There was a soft yank at her hand and she felt Lalli start to wander away, but tugged him back to her side. “Nooo, you gotta stay here. Look, this thing is so OLD…Grandma told me about them once, they used to ride on them in the old world. See that brown stuff, that’s because the air eats the metal bits,” the girl explained, pointing.

 

Eventually, the mechanic seemed to agree, and Onni gathered them together, hands on their shoulders. “Alright. You two are going to stay with Mr. Riikonen here for a while. Don’t break anything, and don’t cause any trouble.” Lalli briefly opened his mouth to say something, but Onni only ruffled his hair. “It’ll be fine. I won’t be gone long, and then we’ll go and get something to eat, okay?”

 

Tuuri watched him depart into the bright morning, sun reflecting off  freshly-fallen snow. She was getting tired of standing around and spied a bench by one of the walls. Jumping up, she helped her cousin climb up also. For a few moments, nobody spoke. The man in the apron looked at them with uncertainty, and she looked back with a look that conveyed zero responsibility for the circumstances she was in. He sighed and scratched his balding head.

 

“So… you kids got names?”

“Umm, I’m Tuuri and he’s Lalli.”

“Heh. Alright, Tuuri and Lalli, here’s the rules. Rule one: If it’s moving, don’t touch it. Rule two: If you touch it, put it back where you found it.”

The girl gave a quick nod. “Here, uh… you like books?” Mr. Riikonen asked before picking up a large dog-eared tome and handing it to Tuuri. “This one’s got pictures, so… should occupy you for a while. I gotta get to work. You holler if you need anything.”

 

She tugged her mittens off with her teeth, carefully flipping open the book. There were indeed pictures, very complicated ones, with just as many lines and angles as there were in this building. The front cover said in very clean, stencilled lettering:

 

ENGINE REPAIR MANUAL

5th Edition

 

Her short fingers traced over every label, meticulously drawn in ink and embossed into the page. Some pictures would show the insides of things, little bits all fitting together to make a thing go forward or produce heat or do all sorts of things. It reminded her of a time one of the farmers in Saimaa had shown her his honeycombs. She had been a little scared of the bees, but when she saw those tight little spaces inside, how everything fit together and worked as one, it didn’t seem as bad. Lalli had slumped against her side, dozing off to sleep, but she barely noticed - Tuuri was whispering the things she read quietly to herself. S _park plug, piston, crankshaft, flywheel_. She didn’t know what the words meant, but they sounded really cool, like a secret language only she knew. Every single thing in this building, she realized, had a name and she wanted to learn them all. Learn what they do and how they fit together and everything.

 

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, when there was a knock at the door. Her head shot up from the book, but it wasn’t her brother - it was a woman, smiling and carrying a bundle of cloth in her hands. “Hey, Joni. I brought you some lunch.” She stepped inside without waiting for an invitation. Slung over her shoulder was a brown leather bag. Mr. Riikonen was crawling around under a big metal tractor when she came in, and waved before getting up and wiping his hands on a rag. “Afternoon, Hilma.”

Tuuri watched from her bench, quiet as a mouse. Beside her, Lalli stirred at the voices, opening his eyes but not lifting his head or sitting up.

“Ahh, you know you don’t have to do this--”

“Oh come on, we both know you always forget. And, I gotta go this way on my route anyway so it’s no trouble for me. Come on, share a bite with an old friend, Joni.”

The two adults chatted over their sandwiches, something about the military and the harbour and how the crops were doing. It wasn’t terribly interesting, so Tuuri went back to her book, full of the magic pictures.

 

Eventually, Hilma nodded towards the bench. “Who’re they then?”

“Ahhh, long story. I’m just watchin’ them for a few hours.”

“Yeah? Don’t see too many kids around here, though. At least not that young.” She smiled and called out to Tuuri. “Hey little lady. Do you want something to eat? Come on over and sit with us.”

 

The girl blinked a few times; Lalli had fallen asleep again, if she got up, he would fall over. It took her a few seconds to come up with a plan. As she jumped off the bench, she bundled up her coat and put it under her cousin’s head; he didn’t seem to notice suddenly being horizontal, just kept on sleeping as always. She frowned briefly. He wasn’t very much fun lately. Grabbing the big book, she hurried over to the table and climbed up into an empty chair.

 

“Umm, can I really have some? Is it okay?” she asked, eyeing the dark rye bread, it’s middle juicy with baked fish. The two adults exchanged glances before nodding. Tuuri grinned and tore off a piece, chewing it thoughtfully. “Your, um… your book is really interesting Mr Riikonen.”

The old man laughed. “Yeah? Well, that book -- it explains all of these machines here.” He said, waving his hand all around. “And some even that we don’t got. Some I’ve never seen! But, you read that book, and you’ll know all about how to fix every one of ‘em.” Tuuri sat awestruck. How could one book hold so much knowledge?  

 

After Hilma departed, Mr Riikonen seemed a lot kinder. He let Tuuri tag along while he worked, and even gave her a very important job - sorting metal screws and nuts and bolts into different buckets. Absorbed in her task of matching metal pieces with other metal pieces, she forgot everything about having to look out for her cousin until she happened to feel a shiver and wanted to go grab her coat from the bench. The coat was there, but Lalli was not.

 

This was bad. She felt a sick feeling of anxiety rising up in her stomach. “... Lalli? Where did you go?” Tuuri glanced here and there, walking around the rows of machinery, her boots creaking slightly on the wooden floorboards. She didn’t want to bother the mechanic, but if Onni came back and she had lost Lalli… Everything around her was metal and rust, dusty light filtering in from the high windows.

 

She was in some odd corner of the shop now, surrounded by strange, large machines. Finally, she spied something in the corner, between two big pipes leading outside. Tuuri frowned and got on her hands and knees, crawling into the small alcove. Here her cousin sat curled into a ball, a faint smile on his face. He didn’t seem to pay attention to her until she called his name.

“Lalli! What are you DOING?” she hissed through gritted teeth. The crawlspace smelled of old dust and oil, and she had to hold her breath to get away from it.

“Um… I … I saw som’thing and… followed it here. It’s nice. We played for a while but then it had to go.”

“What? You’re not making any sense at all, okay? Come out, Onni will be here to pick us up soon and he’ll be mad that you got all dirty.”

With that, Tuuri crawled back out and waited for Lalli to follow. She was wiping the dirt from his face when Mr. Riikonen walked up behind them.

“There you are. Your brother’s here for you.”

Lalli broke away from Tuuri’s grasp and ran through the labyrinthine shop out to the front reception area. She grinned and followed him, boots stomping on the creaking floor.

Onni was indeed waiting for them, coats in hand and looking somewhat more tired than he was when they saw him that morning. “H-hey guys. I hope you behaved yourself.” He said, holding up Lalli’s coat while the small boy shoved his arms through and worked on doing up the buttons.

Tuuri looked up, turning her head between her brother and the old mechanic. Mr. Riikonen scratched at his white hair, smiling faintly. “They didn’t cause any trouble. If y’need to, bring ‘em back again tomorrow, or… whenever.”

She grinned at the possibility, and Onni seemed to relax somewhat also. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that may have taken a little longer than I thought. First I was out of town, and then I got sick, and then, well... STUFF happened. Anyway, this one's from Tuuri's POV! We'll get to hear more about Onni and Lalli later, and maybe even a hint of what happened to their parents?
> 
> Stay tuned!

**Author's Note:**

> What's that? Solo wrote a non-shippy fanfic? GASP.  
> And... A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC? Who are you, author, and what have you done with Solovei???  
> I don't know what it is with me and pre-canon stuff. There was some hints dropped at the HORRIBLE THING that happened to the Hotakainen kids before the proper start of the story, and I felt like it needed to be explored?  
> Seriously though, I was sitting on this for MONTHS and then decided that it was maybe time for it to finally see the light of day.  
> 


End file.
